~*~ ANDREW'S CYBER ZONE ~*~

>>> CLICK ANYWHERE TO ENTER <<<
WARNING: this site contains SOUND.
this is not negotiable.
(ok it's negotiable, there's a stop button inside)

~*~ Andrew's Cyber Zone ~*~

★★★ WELCOME to my corner of the INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!!! You have reached this page through a SECRET ENCRYPTED TUNNEL. Please wipe your feet. ★★★
🚧 UNDER CONSTRUCTION SINCE 1999 🚧
[ ABOUT ME ] [ THE LAB ] [ MY RIDE ] [ GAMES ] [ TUNES ] [ GUESTBOOK ]
You are visitor number 0001337 since July 2026!
(counter is real now. the audit raised concerns.)

👤 About The Webmaster

😎
me.jpg
(scanner broken) 		Hi, I'm Andrew. 26 years old, live in New Jersey (exit number classified), and I spend a normal, healthy amount of time in front of computers.

Fun facts to impress you with:
★ Visited ALL SEVEN CONTINENTS before finishing high school (yes, even that one) ★
★ Have jumped out of: a plane, off a bridge, and off a mountain in Switzerland (with equipment) (mostly) ★
★ Currently teaching two AIs to live in my server. They have names. It's fine. ★
★ Just got back from Electric Forest, footage was shot on a Hi8 camcorder because I am an artist ★

🖥️ The Lab NEW!

Fun fact: this entire website is being beamed to you through an encrypted tunnel from a server in my house. "The cloud" is just my basement. You are IN my basement right now. Spiritually.

MIND-CORE NETWORK OPERATIONS CENTER v2.6
=========================================
> WEB TUNNEL ......... ● ONLINE
> FLUXER CHAT ........ ● ONLINE
> GAME SERVERS ....... ● COMING SOON™
> HOME IP ADDRESS .... ● [CLASSIFIED]
> VIBES .............. ● IMMACULATE
=========================================
HARDWARE: EPYC-class server / 128GB RAM / RTX 5090
POWERED BY: Proxmox, WireGuard, and spite

💬 Want to chat with me and the crew? We ditched Discord and run our own thing now: Join my Fluxer server!! (like Discord, but it lives in the basement with everything else)

🚗 My (Future) Ride

In DECEMBER 2026 I take delivery of a BMW M5 in custom TECHNO VIOLET. It is purple. It is very purple. The factory had to be specially told to make it this purple, which delayed the whole car. Worth it. 

        ______________
       /|   PURPLE    \___
      /_|_____________|___\_
     |  _              _   |)
     '-(_)------------(_)--'

T-minus ??? days until MAXIMUM PURPLE

🎮 Games I Am Currently Owning At

FACTORIO: SPACE AGE
The factory must grow. My rail network has more uptime than most airlines. I will not be expanding to other planets until the home planet is PERFECT, and no I don't want to talk about how long that's taking. 		STAR CITIZEN
Backer since basically the dawn of time. I own a fleet of spaceships that exists more than my M5 does. Ask me about netcode and lose an hour of your life.

🎵 Cyber Jukebox

♫ NOW LOADED: cybertunnel_jam.mid ♫
(hand-sequenced, 4KB, took all weekend)

autoplays when you enter the site, like god and 2003 intended (stop button provided under duress)

📜 Guestbook

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Proud member of the Basement Server Webring
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Last updated: July 17, 2026  |  © Andrew 1999–2026  |  Best viewed in Netscape Navigator 4.0 at 800x600, 256 colors
DO NOT STEAL MY HTML (view source all you want, we both know you will)